TERRIBLE POSTER TUESDAY: THE WOLFMAN

(WARNING: MY "H" KEY IS STICKING SO IF YOU SEE WORDS WITHOUT AN "H" IN IT geneic viagra. cheap viagra. online pharmacy.PLEASE TELL ME). Today is Tuesday, so as you know today is the day that I find a poster and rip it to shreds viagra online. Normally I find a horrible photoshop job, a stupid idea, or something that's just too damn awful to function. Today, is something a little bit different online viagra. You see, the poster to my left isn't horrible by any means, this is more a "principle" of the fact sort of deal. Now, it isn't that I dislike this poster, it is just an absolutely STUPID advertising idea cialis online.

This poster is one of what I firmly believe is one of the worst marketing schemes for what seems to be an awesome film. This poster right here is a reference to a famous scene from the iconic film. However...how many people going to the movies are going to know this? Not a whole lot. I appreciate the throwback to draw us horror nerds in...but to be honest, we were going to see the film anyway. This serves no purpose in "winning us over" because they're remaking a classic and we're all uber nerdz. It's like when a new comic book movie comes out, you may not want to watch it-but you do anyway.

So here we have a black and white, off centered poster of some chick in the woods making a face that resembles something the poor man's excuse for Megan Fox would make in The Unborn. Wow, it went from being a classic throwback to every gothic girl's high school photography project. Congratulations. You turned a classic image and made it stupid. You could have at least done the scene where the monster is leaning her back in a "dip" in the middle of the forest. That way, the average theatre goer sees the beast and its a more obvious throwback. Ta-Da! Problem solved.

There are those who thought maybe thy were trying to keep the Wolf Man a secret and that is why this poster was created. I beg to differ. If it isn't this poster fluttering around, it is the one to my right. Now, this isn't a theatrical poster (notice the lack of font) but I have seen this gem in two theatres, in two different states. So this isn't just a piece of viral campaigning going on, its in the theatres teasing us as well. So the beast is in no way a secret as you can clearly see him in this shot. Now I wonder...since when did Wolverine stop shaving? I've seen this before. What's worse, is that the "fading" effect they've got going on all of these posters are also very X-Men looking. I'd also really like to know when the Wolfman had time to tease his hair or blowdry and hairspray...it's a little too "organized chaos" for me. Not to mention, I highly enjoy the shirt that has been ripped and distressed so distinctly that It's a wax job shy of an Abercrombie ad.

To wrap it up...I'm not mad, I'm disappointed. This could have been something absolutely amazing and...its not. It's just one flaming disappointment.

TWATLIGHT SUCKS: EMO VAMPIRE SONG

BJ-C'S FANTASTICALLY FRIGHTENING AWARDS

Ah, can you smell it? Excessive amounts of hairspray, $300 cologne, corn syrup, latex, and weave glue flitter through the air. That's right ladies and gentlemen...IT'S AWARD SEASON. Things like the "Kreativ Blog" "Lovely Blog" and "Zombie Chicken" awards have all been handed out and whored like hell around the blogging community. Well, one more couldn't hurt. I've created my OWN awards. (specially since all the cross linkage keeps us above the "big names" on horror blips ;] )Here's the deal. If you are mentioned here today, you will recieve the banner on the top left. If you pass it on, you pass them the award at the bottom of this entry. Deal? Deal. If I haven't mentioned you on this post. Do not think I hate you, do not think I've forgotten about you, and do not think that I don't think you're fantastic. If you want to start an outbreak, you bite a few and let them free. Well...I can't bite all of you, but know that once you've been awarded here, to send the bite and transitive property...you've all been bitten by me :D When you pass this along, you have to acknowledge SPECIFIALLY why you've given them this award. When you go to the Oscars, yeah you get an Oscar...but not for the same thing everyone else got theirs for. Make them feel special and unique! Bonus points if you're clever :D

Now Presenting: BJ-C'S FANTASTICALLY FRIGHTENING AWARDS!

The Blogger who will take out your bad boyfriend's kneecaps and send you a zebra print couch: BILLY LOVES STU! Pax Romano's bambino prowess along with his fabulocity gives one of the most entertaining blogs on the interwebs.

The Blog that sticks it to the recession: DOLLAR BIN HORROR! Eat that economy! You think you can stop us horror nerds with your jacked up DVD prices? THINK AGAIN. Rhonny Reaper tells you to pop shove it and gives us fantastic films on a budget.

The Best Bearded Blogger with a weakness for cute animals who loves horror but hates everything: I LOVE HORROR! I have mad love for Brad McHargue and his powerbeard, and I love nothing more than giving him shit for hating "everything" that is unless its Session 9 or Pontypool. He liked those. :D

The Blog who's layout could kick your layout's ass: MONSTER LAND! Jeanette is one hell of a horror writer and her blog is one of my favorites to read, but everytime I go to her site I seriously feel like my blog is the most bootleg looking thing on the planet. Patrick Bateman has the perfect business card, she has the perfect blog layout. My god...it even has moving articles.

The Blogger that reminds me so much of me it hurts: THE HORROR DIGEST! I honestly believe Andre Dumas is my sister from another mister. Everything she says, I agree with and her wit constantly reminds me that I'm not alone in this world of female horror blogging :D

The Blog written by the kid from Pathogen's doppelanger: THE PARADISE OF HORROR. Unless you've seen Pathogen and met Freddys Fingers himself...this joke makes no sense. Love you Rick :D

The Blog that is the reason I blog: LOVE TRAIN FOR THE TENEBROUS EMPIRE! Kate, you are seriously the biggest inspiration I have for blogging, and I don't think I'd have ever started this if I wasn't stalking out your blog first. You rock.

The Blog that is truly the thunder from down under: MUSINGS ACROSS A CONTINUUM! No one knows vampires like Ms. Harker, no one loves the boys of True Blood like Ms. Harker, and no one has a cooler accent than Ms. Harker. I LOVE this woman, and if you don't know her...you aught to.

The Blog that gives me a small heart attack when I leave my speakers on: FASCINATION WITH FEAR! Chris has added this nifty thing to her blog called trailers on the sidebar. I should know by now that she has them but everytime I go to her site, I forget and the sound of the trailers gives me a small heart attack. So she LITERALLY has the most frightening site :D

The Blog that lives the life I wish I did: ALL THINGS HORROR! Not only do Mike and Chris completely OWN in every aspect of horror writing, They host freaking fim fests. WHY CAN'T I BE YOU?!

The Blog that has the best blog headers ever created: CHUCK NORRIS ATE MY BABY! I can't lie, half the time I go to his blog its to see the insane blog headers he's created. His blog is damn hilarious and a hell of a read. Oh, and you should type "how to find Chuck Norris" in google and click "I'm feeling lucky" just do it :D

The Blog that I miss more than size D bras: FREDDY IN SPACE! Dear Johnny. Stop slacking, I miss you. Love, BJ
The most underrated blog on the interwebz: PLANET OF TERROR! I stalk out blogging worlds all the time and I've been seeing a lack of love for this one. I think it's brilliant and yet forgotten. only 75 followers? What is wrong with the world. Do yourself a favor and FAVORITE this one asap.

The Blog that started it all: ZOMBOS CLOSET OF HORROR! Children, he is our fearless leader. Bow to him....I SAID BOW.

and our final award goes to...

The Blog I Owe My Life To: The Vault of Horror. B-Sol is my Obi-Wan, the reason 90% of the internet even knows I exist, the founder of the Ms. Horror Blogosphere competition, a fantastic podcast, fabulous vlogs, and the nicest guy you could ever know. He does it all, and he does it with class and intellect. I don't think there's a single person who doesn't like B-Sol...okay maybe 2 people but they suck anyway :D. 2009 was the year of the B-Sol and I thank him for everything he's done not just for me, but for the entire horror blogosphere. Do him a favor, BUY A VAULT T-SHIRT.

IF YOU SEND THIS AWARD OUT: USE THIS BANNER

DAYBREAKERS: The Vampire Attempt At 28 Days Later (SPOILERS)

It takes a lot for me to admit the fact I like a vampire movie containing a main character named Edward. The fact that the film is in no way associated to Twatlight, makes it much easier. Daybreakers is set in 2019 where the world is almost completely vampiric and the humans who have refused to "go vamp" are considered enemies of the state and are hunted to be farmed for blood. Humans are scarce and while people are hard at work looking for a suppliment to human blood, the government is working on tracking down humans. However, the main character Edward is sympathetic to the humans as he didn't want to go vamp in the first place and spends the film trying to find a cure rather than a supplement.
While watching the film, I knew I liked it...but I couldn't exactly put my finger on WHY I liked it. It was shot wonderfully, the idea was fantastic, and there was a decent amount of gore (including an exploding head) but I knew that wasn't why I liked it. That was until I started comparing it to a zombie film. You see, theres a feeding frenzy in the film that looks like something out of 28 Da-THAT'S IT! This film is the vampire attempt at making 28 Days Later!

I say this because the film gives us a whole new world of vampires. Yes, they're fanged. Yes, they don't have reflections. Yes, they're sensitive to sunlight and wooden stakes. Yet, have you ever seen what a blood starved/mutated/rabid vampire looks like? It gives us a look into a world of vamps that we've never really seen before, and if we have...it's been to clouded by sparkling asshats. We see vampires that begin to turn into these decrepid Jeepers Creepers looking creatures from the lack of human blood. Oh, they have vegetarian vampires too...but they don't get the girl, they deform and become violent. Vampires even get to the desperation point to where they start feeding on each other or themselves which causes them to REALLY get screwy. I loved the fact vampires were actually scary rather than pretty boys with sharp teeth. Great change.
The Government once again shows how heartless they truly are when it comes to situations they can't control. At least in this film they're just killing off the people who've mutated rather than raping the women. I'd like to say they're being heartless when it comes to hunting down the people but in all honesty...I completely understand that, so I'm not holding it against them. Yet, when Edward possibly knows of a cure the government hunts not just himself, but the humans down without knowing he could fix all of this. Don't people talk before they act anymore?! The government is also working AGAINST finding a cure which is really just selfish in my eyes.

The vamps are very zombielike once they get hungry. They don't just bite and suck, they rip apart and DEVOUR to get every last drop. It was pretty neat to see the angle they went with them. The vamps were all completely sane and normal, but once they got the scent of human blood...they went completely savage. HERE'S A HUGE SPOILER. After they discover that sucking the blood of a re-humanized vamp will also humanize you...it creates one of the COOLEST feeding frenzies I've seen in horror. A few vamps bite one re-humanized vamp which makes them turn human, which makes more vamps attack them...etc. etc. It creates this clusterfuck domino effect of gore. I loved it.

All in all, I really enjoyed it. I normally HATE vampire films because I'm a hardcore zombie lover and I think any vampire film made now is just trying to ride the Twilight wave, but this film gave us an entirely new vampire and I feel the ending left it open for a sequel...which I would not mind seeing.

THE ROCKSTAR'S HORROR HANDBOOK w/ Elysion Fields

How many people out there have dreamed of being a rockstar? Screaming fans, sold out arenas, groupies? Well it is no surprise that rock & roll and horror go together like spaghetti & meatball. However, being a rockstar takes a lot more than just talent...it's a way of life. I've asked the boys from absolutely fucking AWESOME hardcore band Elysion Fields to help compose a guide for all you kids out there who want to be a rockstar earn a little street cred. This list was put together by band member Scotty...and he did a pretty bang up job if you ask me :D

Old School Horror...

5.) A Nightmare On Elm Street
This is a very unique movie and the first of its kind to where you were scared to go to sleep. Sleeping is where you are most vonurable and its worse when you Robert Englund chasing you around.

4.) Suspiria
Suspiria offers great suspense that is backed up by a great musical score which keeps your hair standing. Dario Argento knows how to create great fear by making you uncomfortable.

3.) Halloween
A classic that made everyone afriad of masked killers and not wanting to go out on Halloween. A silent killer with another great suspenseful score to back him up.

2.) The Evil Dead
This movie made everyone fall in love with Ash (Bruce Campbell). A perfect blend of comedy and horror made this movie climb to be one of biggest underground horror movies to date.

1.) Phantasm
It was hard on what to put as number 1 between Phantasm and The Evil Dead, but Phantasm took it because I have met the cast and they were wonderful. This is one of the most unique movies I have ever seen. This movie has suspenseful scenes, creepy characters, one of the best musical scores ever, and one of the most clever objects to ever reach the screen. This amongst the rest on the list are movies to not miss!

New School Horror...

5.) Hatchet
Hatchet brings us back to old school slashers. Kane Hodder re-establishes himself as a horror icon and the brutal Victor Crowley. This movie is great and fun gore.
4.) Session 9
This movie is very suspenseful and does it not by using graphic images but by an uncomftorable atmosphere, much like something you would see Dario Argento use. A great climax and ending make this movie one not to miss.

3.) 28 Days Later
So many movies like to use "zombies" but not actually call them zombies. 28 Days Later captures this perfectly with infected people running wild. A great success in the genre and another great score to back the movie up.

2.) Trick 'R' Treat
Plain and simple...if Quentin Tarantino made a horror movie, it would be something along these line. The movie has multiple stories that blend perfectly in and out of one another with main back stories that blend within the mix.

1.) Paranormal Activity
This movie had a huge hype to it before its nation wide release. Arguably one of the scariest movies of all time. The only movie I have seen that had more of an effect than this movie was the Exorcist. Paranormal captures fear perfectly keeping you scared of your own home. Go into this movie with an open mind and put yourself in the characters shoes. The characters are very likeable and stay true throughout the movie. A must see!

Elysion Fields' self-titled EP is out now, you can hit up their myspace by clicking
HERE
or the banner above :D

Follow them on twitter too!
http://www.twitter.com/elysionfields

MTV, DAWN OF THE DEAD, SUICIDE INDUCING...ONE OF THESE THINGS IS NOT LIKE THE OTHER

Thankyou Bloody-Disgusting for sharing the story with us...

Alright MTV...who the french do you think you are? First, you bring us this AMAZING opportunity to give the youth of the world a way to watch their favorite music videos 24/7. Then, you introduced us something that was pretty cool, the first reality show. Now, you've become this money hungry monopoly who brainwashes teenagers into thinking they have to look/act/be a certain way in order to be a successful member of society and like, you know, popular. You make billions of dollars exploiting the faults of others with shows like MADE and show how unintelligent the minority of our nation is with shows like The Hills or Parental Control. You SINGLE HANDEDLY are the reason the people from other countries see America and assume all women are size zeros with huge tits and bleach blonde hair past their asses.

With that being said.

STICK TO WHAT YOU'RE GOOD AT. Why do you find it necessary to completely suck the life out of everything that was once cherished and turn it into something awful. So you want to do "horror" eh? Remember when you stuck your hands in something "horror"? WE GOT PROM NIGHT WITH DISTRACTING SCAR ON THE MIDDLE OF HER FOREHEAD BRITTANY SNOW SCREAMING AROUND ABOUT JACK SHIT FOR TWO HOURS! Or we got My Super Psycho Sweet Sixteen which the title alone can tell you exactly how scary that film was. Or even Sorority Row. Half the cast was the brainchild of your stupid company and the only thing good that came out of that film was killing off Audrina *ceiling eyes* Patridge in the first 20 minutes.

Dawn of the Dead is arguably the zombie film that gave us the zombies we now know and love with all that we have in our undead little hearts. To think that MTV which cares more about how pretty something is rather than staying true is going to touch this makes me sick. Can you imagine seeing a zombie with fake eyelashes and a spray tan peeking out from underneath her fallen skin? That's bloody frickin' awful. I know they're using DotD for the sheer fact they can exploit the use of the mall and thus get more sponsors for the show by having an easy way to do product placements. Picture it now, Lindsay Lohan running through the mall and having to stop by the Lucky Jeans window to check out the outfit on the mannequin all the while zombies are trying to tear her down. Are you fucking kidding me?!

Or try this on for size...Zombies, running through the mall, gnawing on the flesh of teenagers who weren't quite quick enough...a young girl comes running out of a store to see a zombie eating the neck that was once her boyfriend. The girl screams in terror, starts to cry, and cue music....TAYLOR SWIFT! FML.

We can only hope they don't set it in Jersey...otherwise I think they might want to get in on this action. Kill me.

WOMAN OF THE WEEK: Fay Wray

Whatever happened to Fay Wray? That delicate, satin draped frame. As it clung to her thigh, how I started to cry; because I wanted to be dressed just the same. Hello Womanizers, after a hell of a lot of B.S. written WotW's, I figured I should take it back old school and focus on the quintessential female icons of Horror. Fay Wray is arguably the genre's first Scream Queen and I am sort of disgusted with myself that I hadn't featured her sooner.

In 1919, Wray appeared in her first film at the age of 16, landing a role in a short historical film sponsored by a local newspaper. In the 1920s, Wray landed a major role in the silent films such as The Coast Patrol, as well as various roles as smaller parts in silent films.

In 1926, American film association: Western Association of Motion Picture Advertisers chose her as one of the "WAMPAS Baby Stars". These were a group of women who the WAMPAS believed to be on the threshold of movie stardom. Sort of the "actresses to be looking for". Other notable Baby Stars are Gloria Stuart, Joan Crawford, and Ginger Rogers. She then started to nab major roles in various films for Universal Pictures.

Later on in her career, Wray signed to various film companies. It was under these deals that Wray was cast in various horror films, including Doctor X (will build his creatureeee) However, her greatest known films were produced under her deal with RKO Radio Pictures where she made some of her most memorable and iconic films.

The Most Dangerous Game was followed by Wray's most memorable film, King Kong. According to Wray, Jean Harlow had been RKO's original choice, but due to contract conflictions, the blonde captive of King Kong was given to Fay Wray.

Wray was paid $10,000 dollars to play the role. The iconic famous blonde was actually a fake! She wore a blonde wig over her naturally dark hair. The film was a commercial success and has become one of the most influenial pictures. King Kong was actually the film that saved RKO from bankruptcy. Wray's role would become the one with which she would be most associated.

After Kong, she starred in The Vampire Bat and then in another important horror movie milestone, Mystery of the Wax Museum, as she established herself as the perfect example of the helpless heroine. Consequently, the year 1933 was to be Fay's busiest, as she played roles in eleven different movies. 1934 was just as busy, with a couple of fantasy projects, most notably The Clairvoyant and Black Moon. On August 8, 2004, Fay Wray died in her Manhattan apartment, from natural causes, almost a month away from celebrating of 97th birthday. A posthumous star on Canada's Walk of Fame in Toronto was unveiled to her memory on June 5, 2005.

BWUCK BWUCK BRAAAAAAAINS

Yes, today seems to be AWARDS DAY! B-Sol over at The Vault of Horror bestowed upon me the "Zombie Chicken Award". I also was given the award from the love of my freaking life Andre Dumas over at The Horror Digest. So, I do my part and I send this little dandy along to other blogs I find deserving of such an award. Now I tried to give this to people who didn't get the award yet since it's been bouncing around everywhere :D

The blogger who receives this award believes in the Tao of the zombie chicken – excellence, grace and persistence in all situations, even in the midst of a zombie apocalypse. These amazing bloggers regularly produce content so remarkable that their readers would brave a raving pack of zombie chickens just to be able to read their inspiring words.

1) SHU-IZMZ: Bryan Schuessler may in fact be the coolest guy who looks like he could kick your ass. He has an amazing blog, an amazing radio show, and he used to have a pretty amazing beard. It'll be back though :D

2) Mad Mad Mad Mad Movies: The Vicar of VHS and The Duke of DVD write a blog that looks at everything here, there, and in-between. Gotta give some loves to fellow LoTT-D'ers :D

3) Win Free Horror Shit: I know Johnny already got this award for his other blog, but hey. I'm broke. I love horror stuff...what's there not to like about this!?

4) Dimension Fantastica: Because we don't all speak English :D

5) The Moon is a Dead World: For the longest time I thought I was the coolest teenage horror blogger....then I found Ryne's blog and now I stand corrected. Always sending LoTT-D love!

Rhonny Reaper over at Dollar Bin Horror also bestowed this upon me!

Now this award has some rules with it:
1. Thank the person who nominated you for this award.
2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
3. Link to the person who nominated you for this award.
4. Name 7 things about yourself that people might find interesting.
5. Nominate 7 Kreativ Bloggers.
6. Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate.
7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know they have been nominated

SEVEN THINGS I GUARANTEE YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME

1. I have an unhealthy obsession with Paul Stanley.
   
2. I could live off of Sour Patch Watermelon candies. Easily.
   
3. The most action I've gotten since before Halloween was a guy telling me I was cute through the internet. I seriously have no game.
   
4. I've read all of the Twilight Books and seen both the movies....BECAUSE I REFUSE TO MAKE FUN OF SOMETHING UNLESS I CAN BACK IT UP.
   
5. I have a permanent dent on my shoulders from my bra straps trying to hold up my chest. Who wants to pay for my surgery?!
   
6. It is going to take every ounce of strength I have not to name my first child Harleen Quinzell.
7. I broke my entire face when I was 13 :D

SEVEN BLOGS I THINK ARE KREATIV

1. I'm going to be a rebel about this
2. Everyone, their mom, and their mistresses has gotten an award today
3. I'm not into doubling up
4. And I'm not into excluding people
5. So I'm not giving out Kreativ Awards
6. My blog, My rules
7. I love you all :D

WHAT TOOK THE RETURN OF SWAMP MONSTERS SO LONG?!

As much as it pains my little zombie loving heart to admit it, 2009 was truly the year of the Vampire. Although I firmly believe that the aught's were the decade of the return of zombie, we have seen return of just about every monster of the Golden age. Brenden Fraiser and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson brought back "The Mummy" monster in 1999 and into the early aughts. The 80's had An American Werewolf in London/Paris as well as a revival of the Werewolf later on with Ginger Snaps and Dog Soldiers. The Frankenstein monster has been revived, remade, and recreated throughout pop culture so many times it's out of control and of course Count Dracula will always be a staple of horror culture. I want to know however, WHERE ARE MY SWAMP MONSTERS?!

Creature from the Black Lagoon was probably one of the most iconic films of the Golden Age and brought as a monster completely different from the typical vampires/wolf men/frankensteins of the day. He was creepy, crawly, slimy, and lived in an area that we have all seen before. The "Gill-Man" used to freak me out to no end, and living on the Lake Michigan shores made it even creepier to have my 6 year old mine imagine this creature coming out from the water and taking me back with him.

The Gill-man is fully amphibious capable of breathing both in and out of the water. As shown in the first film, it is vulnerable to rotentone (a type of insecticide). He also has an insane amount of superhuman strength, which is exploited in the second and third films of the "creature" series. He also possesses large, webbed hands with sharp claws on the tip of each finger. It's like Aqua Man meets Freddy Kruegar. The Gill-man's scaly skin acts as a shield, which combined with a fast acting healing power, allows it to survive wounds which would be fatal to humans, such as gunshots and full immolution. Basically, Wolverine's power. However, every creature has to have some sort of kryptonite and The Gill-man is slightly photophobic due to its murky water habitat.

The Mad Monster Party did include a tribute to the Creature From the Black Lagoon, but lets be honest...Boris Karloff was in it, they didn't forget any of the classics.

In the 80's Wes Craven gave us the film Swamp Thing which is arguably a rough remake of the original. (and arguably centered around Adrienne's rack). While giving us very original ways of creating the monster, he's inspired by the DC comics swamp monster which was inspired by the Creature from the Black Lagoon. No matter how you try to wrap your head around it. You have to agree with me on it.

After this film and its sequel made its run, it seemed that we never heard from the swamp creature ever again. Even popular children's cartoons forget about the swamp monster. Hell, the swamp thing from Scooby-Doo was a Chernobyl victim looking submarine man with some ivy on him.

NOTE: I DO NOT CONSIDER THE HOMESICK ABORTION THAT WAS THE COMPLETELY PHALLIC/PENETRATING/LAME MAN-THING. DON'T EVEN COMPARE IT TO SWAMP THING OR CFTBL. THAT MOVIE WAS ABOUT AS SUCCESSFUL AS PLAYING HOPSCOTCH WITH AN AMPUTEE.

Recently, there have been talks and rumors of people remaking CFTBL as well as Swamp Thing, and my question is this...WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?! The Swamp Monsters are some of the coolest looking creatures to make and with today's technology, these films would be visually astounding and scary as hell. Filmmakers, you're slacking.

TERRIBLE POSTER TUESDAY: LEGION

Womanizers! Have you missed your favorite day of the week? Have you been too excited to sleep on Monday night knowing that the very best day of the week was upon us? No...well, just humor me! It's Terrible Poster Tuesday and today's victim is the religious/horror/fantasy/AWFUL film one-sheet for Legion. This is only one of 9 or so one sheets that have been released for this film but I felt that this one really exemplifies how the film (IMO) is going to turn out. So let the sarcastic ripping begin!

First of all, HOW CLICHE CAN YOU FRICKIN BE?! Not only is there an angel looking to God, but there's the light coming down from from the clouds representing "God" looking back at him. Alright divine light, we've had enough, we know it's just a hole in the clouds and a reflection of the Sun. Stop looking up, you're going to burn your retinas.

Second, the photoshopping of this is absolutely dreadful. The wings of this angel don't look attached at all. It looks like someone hit a raven on the way to work, took a picture of it, and plastered this dude over it. Your 8 pack isn't real either, I really like the photoshopping job to make you look so ripped. At least the Twatlight werewolf actually made his abs legit. They look mutated! It's not even attractive, it's frightening.

The weapons the angel is armed with look like they were cut out of a magazine and then rubber cemented on. They're not even remotely close to matching the lighting of the rest of the picture. I'm pretty sure he stole that knife from Crocodile Dundee and that gun was a rejected Alice weapon from Resident Evil.

I'd also like to point out the super sweet tribal tats he's rocking. Stay out of Cali, they might think you're in a gang. Oh right, you are...OF EVIL ANGELS!!!

OH MY GOOOOOOOOD

Sorry. I'm on a youtube fix.

NEW mBOOn IN A MINUTE

special thanks to B-Sol who brought this brilliance to my attention

i love videos.
sorry.
real post later tonight :D

Look what Rhonny Reaper made me!

Doing a bit of a "picture of our slogans" swap, Rhonny Reaper of Dollar Bin Horror made me a little picture of my tagline! Check out her awesome blog (and the picture I drew for her) over at her killer site Dollar Bin Horror

LIKE BROS? LIKE DEAD BODIES? THIS IS THE FILM FOR YOU!

KY (2009)
aka:
Tool Academy and Necromantik's bastard love child

You better freaking laugh. It's from the same production company that made Chemical 12-D. I knew they could do aesthetically pleasing and captivating...but I didn't know they could do humor. Turns out they can. Just gotta dig up the skeletons everyone has in their closet.

WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF?!

I'm all for horror tats but what the hades!?